Narrator: The following preview has been rated G for goofy.
Every generation has a legend. Every journey has a first step. Every saga has a beginning. Coming soon to a chili cookoff near you, "Phantom Dragonfly: Star Wars Episode 2A.4".
In a galaxy-sized budget far, far away...
Narrator: A strong uprising had occurred, which was very evil. After seeing the power of the dark blue dress (well, except for a few spots...), Emperor Clinton has turned away from the peaceful, cooperative international space program. Instead, he has thrown in his lot with the forces attempting to build the even more powerful space station -- the Death Mir. Successful launch of the Death Mir will drain the monetary life force from ISS, and cripple the hopes of thousands of US aerospace contractors, everywhere.
Darth Gore: Emperor, with your threat of cancelling the Wisconsin subsidized cheese distribution program, he has fallen into our laps. [Both make evil laugh]. Even as we speak, Bunsenburner is trying to convince Princess Monica Layme to sign a treaty giving us all that we want. And, as of now, the new internet satellite "Triana", which allows users to see the earth at any given moment, is already draining the ISS funds at a tremendous rate.
Sen. Bunsenburner: Sign the treaty Princess Monica Layme...
Princess Layme: Senator, I will sign no treaty until it's time.
Sen Bunsenburner. Do it, Princess Layme, Do me!
Princess Layme: I'm sorry, but that's not one of my contract deliverables.
Shep: Yo-Gene Da-Kranz, we need to get Princess Monica Layme away from the Senator before he forces her to treat him...I mean...forces her to sign the treaty. If we fail, the budget will be diverted to build the Death Mir, the Congress will attempt to do the redesign themselves, and the engineers who labor on the slave moon of "End-our lives-please" will give up all hope. The horrible slavemaster VPP has already driven them unto the brink of despair. What must we do?
Yo-Gene: OooOhh An option, failure is not...!
Solo: Come on you old muppet, give us some real advice.
Yo-Gene: Oooh you must read my book that's coming out this year. It's not easy being green...
Shep: (Kicks Yoda into orbit). Let's go, Glenn-Solo, and get Princess Layme.
Solo: OK, but I need to make a stop on the world of Viagra, first.
Princess: You're the last line of defense between good and evil in the galaxy, the last best hope for humanity. Help me Obi-Wan Georgeabbey, you're my only hope.
Senator: "Oui, Oui I'm not afraid"
Censor: No, wait, this is a family cookoff, you can't have people climaxing in public.
Narrator: See the Phantom Dragonfly, Star Wars Episode whatever is the number- you'll still pay the big bucks for a George Lucas sequel even if it means camping out in a ticket line for several months. This low budget but highly tasteful Surfin Chili is sure to please. Phantom Dragonfly, Star Wars Episode 2A.4 is not yet rated or you won't want to see it.
What we can show of the grand finale is this: [insert Surfin Cheer]
Comments? Suggestions? Send 'em to me at WizardImps@hotmail.com
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Last updated: August 7, 2000